The Adventures of ReadingGrrl

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  • Reduce, Reuse, Recycle

    Reduce, Reuse, Recycle

    At this point we should all know that recycling of plastic isn’t happening as we all would expect. Much of it winds up in the ocean killing wildlife and causing a ridiculous amount of pollution.

    Breaking the plastic habit is almost impossible. I’ve been trying to do it for years but I’m determined to do better this year. When we travel I always bring at least 1 reusable grocery bag which has actually come in handy since many countries don’t give you plastic bags anymore or you need to pay for them. I also found a conditioning bar that I like but would like to find some other alternatives. I rarely use shampoo so I bought a shampoo bar and that is weird but once I learned out how to use it it’s not too terrible.

    I found a store that has refillable products, I just bring in my own containers and they will refill them with whatever cleaning products or body products I need. Toilet paper is difficult, while I can find some that is not wrapped in plastic I found that I can order a huge box of Scott toilet paper on amazon that doesn’t have have any plastic wrap. Grove also has bamboo toilet paper that comes in a box and you don’t have to buy quite as much if you don’t have storage space.

    Grove also has bamboo paper towels which I just ordered but I haven’t gotten yet so I don’t know if they can compare to bounty. If I have to use more of something it’s not worth it to me. I tried just using washable rags etc…but when you have as many animals as I have sometimes disposable is best.

    Grove also has plenty of cleaning concentrates that I just found in CVS as well that you just add to a bottle with some water and voila you have cleaning solution. Laundry detergent has been an issue. I tried the detergent strips but they don’t always dissolve leaving detergent on my clothes. I found Dropps which has detergent pods but instead of coming in a big plastic tub they come in a cardboard box (recyclable) so I’m going to give them a whirl.

    Something I never thought about was my prescriptions. Yes those little yellow bottles that the pharmacy gives out in droves. I decided enough is enough and asked if they can just put my pills in a bag and guess what they did! I bought little 2oz glass jars from amazon and transferred the pills to the jar stuck my prescription label on the front and yay no plastic bottles.

    I am going to leave a list below of products that I’ve found and places I’ve found that have sustainable products that can help you reduce your plastic waste as well. Do you have any tips for reducing single use plastic?

    • Dropps – has laundry detergent pods, dishwasher detergent pods
    • Blueland – has toilet bowl cleaner tablets, dishwasher tabs, laundry detergent tabs, cleaning tablet refills
    • Grove Collaborative– Sustainable cleaning products, toilet paper, paper towels, Swedish dish towel, soap refills, toothpaste pellets
    • Zero Waste Tours – Shampoo and conditioning bars, cleaning brushes, brushes etc.
    • Shift – has sustainable products, gives workshops, you can refill any containers with their products. They also sell reusable containers.
    • Reusable grocery bags – 5 bags in a small carry container that you can clip to your cart.
    • Rareform – bags made from recycled billboards
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  • Homeland:a person’s or a people’s native land.

    Homeland:a person’s or a people’s native land.

    Discovering where you are from and creating a connection to your ancestors in those lands is so important. I traveled to Puerto Rico last week to explore the island where my father was born and get to know the culture. I explored San Lorenzo where my father was born, went to the river where he would spend his youth swimming and experienced that for myself. Lying on the warm rocks and listening to the trickle of small water falls brought a deeper connection to the land and to my father.

    I traveled with my wife, my two sisters, and their kids and their mother. I wish we had done this when my father was alive, but standing in the square in San Lorenzo in front of the church with my sisters was a connection I had been missing.

    Hacienda Munoz Coffee Plantation

    One of the most significant things I learned was that when my father came to New York they added the name Gonzalez as his last name – and used his real last name as his middle name. So my true last name is Munoz.

    I’m still processing a lot of the trip as I just got home yesterday but a few quick things I learned from my time there:

    1. Hot water is a privilege – I learned to accept cold ones
    2. Driving in Puerto Rico is chaos…a lot like driving in Philadelphia. What they consider highways are often small roads.
    3. GPS doesn’t always work and even if it does watch the map more than listen to the directions
    4. Don’t be surprised if someone randomly stops on the highway – they probably missed their exit like most of us.
    5. While I knew this it was nice to witness it – Puerto Rican’s truly come in all shades from pale to dark.
    6. The evenings are loud! The coqui (little frogs) are quite vocal when the sun goes down.
    7. If you want to learn about body positivity go to Puerto Rico.
    8. It’s almost impossible to not eat fried food because damn some of it is good.
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  • Roots: the basic cause, source, or origin of something.

    Roots: the basic cause, source, or origin of something.

    I have a vacation scheduled in the next few weeks to go to Puerto Rico. This is my first trip and I am super excited to see where my father was born, meet cousins that I don’t know and reconnect to my roots.

    I am of mixed ethnicity as most United States citizens are. My mother’s family is from Albania and my father was born in Puerto Rico. I didn’t grow up with my father in my life and didn’t really explore this side of myself until I was able to do it myself as I got older. So traveling to Puerto Rico is bringing out a lot of joy and a feeling of reconnecting to something that I lost.

    I am traveling with my wife, my half sisters (they grew up with my father) and their children and my one sisters husband (poor guy other than the children there are no other guys coming!) Exploring my heritage with my siblings has been something we have talked about for years. My one sister has spent a lot of time in Puerto Rico over the past few years and has really felt the pull and connection to the land.

    My daughter went to Puerto Rico last year and despite countless years of making sure she understood that she is Puerto Rican she never felt connected to it until she went. She now feels more connection and proudly displays the Puerto Rican flag. Given that we are white presenting it’s not hard to understand her hesitancy to claim her roots as so many don’t even believe us.

    So I’m excited for the experience of connecting to my roots.

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  • Finding the joy

    What are the three words that spread fear throughout your body? You have Cancer. Yep those are the 3. First you want to throw up and can’t retain any information so why anyone tries to give you more than that at that point is beyond me. Then you freak out, and then at some-point you go okay, now what? This call all happen in the matter of a minute but you ultimately go through all of those feelings.

    So I was diagnosed with a chronic blood cancer about 4 years ago, and while they say it isn’t hereditary my mother also the same thing I have (got diagnosed in her 50’s and is now almost 80) and her aunt had something that was related to it (hers was much worse). So I don’t really trust that they know too much about why it happens. Luckily since I’m familiar with it, while I wasn’t thrilled and I was freaked out I wasn’t as freaked out as I may have been or as my mother was when we first got her diagnosis.

    It’s not always easy to put it out of your head when you are living with something with a scary name. I’m actually thinking of naming it, something less scary than what it actually is. Maybe Oscar, after the grouch who lives in the trash can on Sesame Street. Then when I’m feeling angry about it I can just say I’m pissed at Oscar. Or maybe I will make peace with Oscar and just say we spend time together thinking up silly games to play. I don’t know but even just writing that made me smile and laugh a little so there is that. Besides it’s hard to be scared of something named Oscar.

    So why am I sitting her writing all of this…well I guess it’s because we never really know what is going on inside our bodies. But we know that stress negatively affects us in many ways. In the past 6 months I have been under enormous stress…heck who I am I kidding the past year I have been under enormous amounts of stress and it is definitely taking its toll.

    As I mentioned in a previous post I need to learn to focus more on myself. Putting my self care first, and this is never more abundantly clear than now. Keeping a positive mindset is much easier when you are taking care of yourself. No one wants to think that they may wind up sitting across from a doctor giving them this type of news but even if you do get this kind of news staying positive and taking care of your mental health is just as important as taking care of your physical health.

    It’s easy to go down a negative path and think horrible thoughts or what have you but instead try focusing on the positive. Which is not always easy but don’t dwell on what you don’t want stay focused on what you do want. Make those plans, focus on the future (even if that future is 3 hours from now or 1 day from now) and focus on your mental well being.

    You don’t have to live in fear and stress, you can live in life and abundance. When you feel yourself slipping into those negative thoughts remind yourself of what you want not what you don’t want, because what we put out there is what we get so when you focus on the negative nothing seems to go right, but when you focus on what you want and positive things you start to see the world a little brighter.

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  • New Year, moving forward

    New Year, moving forward

    It’s been a crazy end of the year. I struggled through the holidays but came out better for it. I know in my head that when I am struggling with something or when it’s hard that I’m learning something from the process. It doesn’t make it any easier in the moment but I keep bringing myself back to the reminder.

    From all the energy I’ve been putting out lately and with some health related stuff that I’ve been dealing with I’ve started to realize that I’m not making time for myself first. I’m putting out all this energy but I’m not giving myself the time to recharge.

    I have started to mediate more often – I’m working myself up to every day but if I miss a day it’s okay and I’m not going to beat myself up about it.

    I need to organize my work priorities so I don’t feel so overwhelmed by it which is how I feel right now. I know part of that is that my right hand is out on maternity leave and I don’t have someone to bounce ideas off of but I can manage this without her.

    I need to rededicate myself to my yoga and work out practice. I’ve been seriously slacking on it. When I used to exercise daily its become at most 1x a week. I need to make this part of my morning routine, even if I have to get up earlier to do it. I felt better and my day flowed smoother. I’d also like to do more yoga. So while I prefer live classes (not necessarily in person but live) I would like to work myself up to at least 2x a week. I think this will help with my meditation practice and will also count toward that time as well since most of my classes end in a short meditation.

    I am a crazy avid reader but I think last year and even the beginning of this year I have taken on more than I can actively enjoy. It’s starting to become work and I don’t want something I love so much to turn into something I feel obligated to do. So I cut back on how many books I plan on reading for the year, and I won’t be taking on as many requests for book reviews as I did at the beginning of this year (I committed myself to 13 in January alone! What was I thinking! luckily I’m only 4 away from being caught up and the rest of the year is so far more evenly spaced!)

    So what’s my take on all this. I think so many of us get caught up in doing for others we forget that we need to make time for ourselves. It’s not selfish or taking anything away from your family. In fact it’s probably going to give back because you won’t be as overwhelmed and irritated, not to mention more able to focus on the present moment when spending time with them.

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  • Self Care:the practice of taking an active role in protecting one’s own well-being and happiness

    Self Care:the practice of taking an active role in protecting one’s own well-being and happiness

    A friend recently reminded me that our thoughts often become reality so be careful about what you think and say. I think my biggest take away from that is to be kinder to myself. It’s so easy to beat yourself up over something that you think you shouldn’t be stuck in but I think for me grief of this magnitude is something that is so fresh, raw and unthinkable. I have moved through many stages of it and I just need to be kinder to myself when I am feeling it. Stop fighting it. So easy to say yet so hard to do.

    My wife gets panic attacks since her daughter died and I think it’s sort of the same thing, a thought, something visual or a memory triggers us and we get swept away by all these intense feelings. I think next time I feel things coming at me like that I’m going to sit and just feel it. Let it wash over and through me. Maybe if I stop fighting the wave I won’t drown.

    These feelings are normal and I keep thinking of them as something to change or fight so I think they start to have more control over me than I have over them. Then I get sucked into he vortex of negativity and don’t remember the light. The positive things the fun things we used to do etc.

    I need to remind myself to take care of myself to give myself a break that emotions and feelings always run high during the holidays and add in a trauma they are especially high. Taking a step back and letting myself know it’s okay to feel down but not to stay there. Breathe through the feeling and move on with my day.

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  • Numb: deprive of feeling or responsiveness

    Numb: deprive of feeling or responsiveness

    I’m trying to get excited for things, holidays, etc but I often find myself numb. This will be the 2nd holiday season we have had without our daughter and it’s just so hard. I keep seeing things I know she would like or thinking about trips we know she would love to be a part of.

    I’m trying to pull myself together for the holidays but I’m really struggling and I’m trying to figure out ways to pull myself out of my funk. Every morning when I am exercising I am staring at a bag of clothes that belongs to her sister that she doesn’t want anymore, I know it would be nice to take them down to the city and distribute them among the homeless so maybe we will do that. I know I have a ton of stuff that I could part with that I could add to the pile. I’m sure we also have coats no one wears anymore etc that would be doing some good for someone else instead of taking up space in my closet.

    photo from an anonymous YouTube video of Kensington area of Philadelphia – one of the USA’s largest open air drug market

    Helping others usually helps me. It takes me out of myself to see that others are struggling as well and also makes me more grateful for what I have. It also makes me hope that when our daughter chose to live on the street instead of in our house because we didn’t want her using drugs in a house where others were trying to stay sober, that someone else was looking out and helping her.

    I don’t know if I can go back to the Kensington section of Philadelphia but there are other homeless encampments around the area. Kensington is like a scene from the walking dead with addicts dipped out or looking for their fix. It’s hard to see given what we have been through and how many times we have gone there searching for our daughter.

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  • Dot or Bullet journal:  a method of personal organization

    Dot or Bullet journal:  a method of personal organization

    I’m finding it fascinating how difficult a journey it has been for me to get back to my routine of meditation, journaling, yoga, exercise etc. I feel pulled in so many directions and I’m still battling a bit of grief which I know will never fully go away. I know I will get back to it but it will take practice and dedication to it.

    I have started exercising regularly again which is good for my body and my brain. Journaling has been sporadic but it’s becoming more consistent since I found out more about dot journaling. If you like lists you may like dot journaling. I think with my blogs etc I don’t always feel the need to sit down and pour out my thoughts on paper since I do it here. However I like making lists, to do lists, what to buy lists, things I want lists, places I want to go lists etc.

    So I was doing some research (thank you google) on journaling and came across dot journaling. It looks nothing like what I expect a journal to look like – its more like a planner, to do list and diary in one.

    Many of them are super fancy but others are more all over the place. The interesting thing about these journals is that they have a table of contents…yep you read that correctly. Since it seems like a jumble of different things many dot journals have page numbers. So if there is a list you want to keep going back to you just record it in the table of contents along with the page number so you can find it again. I’m also partial to flags, so I use both the table of contents and flags to help me locate important things.

    This strange and more abstract way of journaling seems to speak to me. I’m just starting so I haven’t found my groove with it yet but I have found it to be helpful for keeping a running list of things I need/want to get done.

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  • Celebrating Yule or the Winter Solstice

    Celebrating Yule or the Winter Solstice

    One of the longest celebrated and most well known of the sabbaths. It is a celebration of the shortest day of the year and the re-emergence of the sunny days to come. It starts December 21 and ends on January 1. It is a time of rebirth, a time to dream and a time to set intentions.

    This is the most hectic time of year but it doesn’t have to be. Celebrate with intention. Take time for yourself, walk in nature, have small family and friend gatherings. Set intentions that align your energies with peace, harmony and light.

    Yule is also a time to get rid of the old and welcome in the new. Clean out drawers, cabinets, etc and get rid of the clutter and welcome in new energy. Once you’ve physically cleaned your space, cleanse it spiritually. Burn pine needles, mistletoe, fir.

    Just as you set intentions for this time of year it’s also a great time to set intentions and manifestations for the coming year. Speak them out loud as if they are already here. Do you want a house at the beach, start talking about how much fun it is to bring the family to the beach and what you will do while you are there. Then make a list of actionable steps in order to achieve this…don’t get bogged down in the how’s – just know it is going to happen. Every day write about how grateful and thankful you are for that house at the beach etc…think about it before you go to sleep and be grateful for it when you wake up. Write down the type of house you want, etc. You may just surprise yourself.

    Yule Symbols 

    • Colors: Green, gold, silver, red 
    • Foods: Cookies, caraway, dried fruits and nuts, eggnog, ginger tea, and spiced cider.  
    • Stones: Ruby, garnet, bloodstone, emerald, diamond  
    • Herbs: Bayberry, evergreen, frankincense, holly, laurel, pine, sage 
    • Flowers: Calendula, sunflowers, wild ginseng, wormwood 

    Yule Celebrations include:

    • Bonfires
    • Decorating with holly, mistletoe, and the boughs of evergreen trees
    • Feasts
    • Gift-giving.
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  • Overwhelm: bury or drown beneath a huge mass.

    Overwhelm: bury or drown beneath a huge mass.

    Even with the best of intentions it’s easy to become overwhelmed. My mother is back in the hospital, still in AFIB which is contributing to congestive heart failure, my contractor has the flu and has been MIA on my old house my son moved into so he is living in a construction zone. My relationship with my middle daughter is still strained and my step daughter is still heavily grieving and finding herself swamped by anxiety with the thought of participating in a holiday. Then there is work stress on top of that and my right hand going out on maternity leave in a few weeks.

    It’s a lot. I’m definitely overwhelmed and trying not to burn out. I know things that will help it’s just a matter of doing them but when I find myself overwhelmed I shut down and stop functioning, unless it’s a crisis (the bi-product of being an adult child of an alcoholic). Maybe just the act of sitting down and writing about this will help lessen the load.

    Things I know I can do to reduce the overwhelm:

    1. Meditate – sitting quietly and breathing intentionally even if I only do it for 5 min.
    2. Yoga – Take a yoga class – intentional movement and breath work do wonders for the body
    3. Journal – let it all out on paper
    4. Get Active – I have a home gym – I can jump on a bike or a rowing machine for 20-30 min and it will help change the chemistry in my brain.
    5. Connect – call a friend and socialize. Just being with other people can uplift your mood.

    I plan on doing some meditation a bit later. I have some chores that I want to get out of the way earlier. I am going to call a friend and make plans for the weekend and while I’m a bit too tired today I’m going to make sure I exercise tomorrow. I can actually feel my body relaxing as I write this.

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