I’m trying to get excited for things, holidays, etc but I often find myself numb. This will be the 2nd holiday season we have had without our daughter and it’s just so hard. I keep seeing things I know she would like or thinking about trips we know she would love to be a part of.

I’m trying to pull myself together for the holidays but I’m really struggling and I’m trying to figure out ways to pull myself out of my funk. Every morning when I am exercising I am staring at a bag of clothes that belongs to her sister that she doesn’t want anymore, I know it would be nice to take them down to the city and distribute them among the homeless so maybe we will do that. I know I have a ton of stuff that I could part with that I could add to the pile. I’m sure we also have coats no one wears anymore etc that would be doing some good for someone else instead of taking up space in my closet.

Helping others usually helps me. It takes me out of myself to see that others are struggling as well and also makes me more grateful for what I have. It also makes me hope that when our daughter chose to live on the street instead of in our house because we didn’t want her using drugs in a house where others were trying to stay sober, that someone else was looking out and helping her.

I don’t know if I can go back to the Kensington section of Philadelphia but there are other homeless encampments around the area. Kensington is like a scene from the walking dead with addicts dipped out or looking for their fix. It’s hard to see given what we have been through and how many times we have gone there searching for our daughter.